My Angel

Do this
Do that
A warm pat on the back
A nudge here
A shove there
And I am on the right track

My imaginary friend
My guardian angel
Sitting on my shoulders
Dangling her legs
Hands down sermons
Left right and centre

She has been my light
On the dark days
She saw the tears and the smiles
The dimpled cheeks
And the frowning face

Sometimes she is the sinking feeling
In the pit of my tummy
Sometimes the clamouring headiness
At the bottom of my heart

Here's to my Angel

Buggy

Buggy was fat
buggy was brown
buggy could jump at ease over the crown
buggy made faces
buggy pranced about
buggy could smell a rat across the town
buggy was cuddly
buggy was stout
buggy could slap you down
buggy made friends with the bald head guy
buggy left paw marks on the vines
buggy walked out one day following a mice
buggy was never to be seen alive    

The Beast

Do you wish to come out clean
or you wish to sit there alone and scream
 do you wish to be all by yourself
or reach out to the almighty

what is it that you want
fame glamour glory or riches
what is it that guides you
is it the demons of your past
things that you cannot forget
things better left alone
do you moan aloud or stifle yourself

do you pray for your dark days to never leave you
as you carry your journey in the deep recesses
your a cripple
a beast of your own making
you have become a shadow of the promise of your youthful days
you run amock trying to pick up the pieces
of your sorry self
 do you think you can do it!!

    

  

A day well spent at the cafe
Bustling people going about their way
A white man
An old lady with a dog
All congregated like a multi colored canvas freshly painted
A street painter happily stroking his latest plate
The sunny waitress handing over the latest cupcakes
The morning walkers huffing puffing to the sway
Maid of honor nibbling the French fries and sausages
It was a day well spent at the cafe..

Memories

The tendrils of an old tree

The broken dog house

The tiny shoes and ribbons

The canvas and paints

The rustic lanes

The old Austin

The constant rumbling of the ocean

The mad dash across the street

The aunt walking her dog

The small cupcakes

The Cinderella, Fiona & Rapunzel 

The muddy boots

The Jack O Lanterns

The cold starry nights

The lame jokes

The lemonades

The story books under blankets

The solitary bird

All brings back fresh memories of the time gone by..

Last Minute

Last Minute I realized what you mean to me
More than Friend
A Well Wisher
More than words could tell..

Its a feeling that can be shared
Cannot be described
Or written about

Its the colorful butterflies fluttering in your stomach
When he held your hand
When he smiled at you from the corner of his eyes
When he gave you that droopy flower wrapped in a plastic
Took you out for a crappy movie in a oldie theater

Last minute it came crashing on me
How ungrateful I have been
How selfish and stupid
Absorbed in Self Pursuit

The beautiful dawn can be compared
To your unconditional love
From the words formed by your wet lips
To the slow gazing s of your beautiful mind

Last Minute the whole world came together
To Celebrate our Love for the divine

Last minute you caught me cold
Your conversations pithy to the core

Last Minute
You gave me my whole world
My Love Longing and Lust

Lonesome Day

This is that lonesome day
When you bid goodbye
That cloudy day
When the stars hid behind the blinds

It was now or never
I could smell the pain in your voice
The guilt that loomed large
The sadness of leaving behind

You said it was over
The feelings of despair seeping slowly
The crowded stairs of the church
You tried to hold on

The muffled cries
The promise of the unknown
You knew you could start over
Like a phoenix rising from the ashes

You pretended to go on
To forget the past
Lead on a new path
How could you possibly know

Of the divine will
Bringing us to an end
Was a mere beginnings of sorts
Of the lost merriment

You held me tight
Close to your heart
I could hear your heart beating fast
This is it

This is where it all ends
This is that lonesome day..

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Where have you been
I miss you so..

Are You The One?

Are you alone?
Are you on of your kind?
Are you the one you thought you could be?
Are you the mad person next door?
Are you the one who told me " I love You" ?

Are you?
Are Human or some Extra terrestrial being?
Are you the one who had pancakes for dinner last night?
Are you stuck in this reality?
Are you the one who booked tickets for the Butch Cassidy?

Are you a dreamer?
Are you a lonesome traveller?
Are you nuts?
Are you the mindless pedestrian?

Are you a homicide?
Are you the one who married last week?
Are you the one sleeping on the beach beside the blue water?
Are you the one who gazed occasionally down the corridor?

Are you the one paying your taxes?
Are you the one buying flashy cars and houses?
Are you the one we call our savior?

Are you a Miss or Mister?
Are you the one I anticipated?

The line where everything is blurriest..

I passed by a flower yesterday

I passed by a flower yesterday
Pink And bright
It was posing like a majestic knight
Fresh and gay
Like happy people huddled away

There I marched again today
To find a bunch of posies swaying in the rain
The infectious fresh feeling that it emanated
Reminds me of all the good things that we beget
Dancing brightly spreading boundless poise
I miss my younger glorious self

Time flies by like a bitter teacher
We lose ourselves in the mindless clatter
We forget to appreciate the vigorous life
The glorious sunrise and sunsets

We hide behind computer screens
We miss the flowers bloom and blossoms
What happened to walking barefoot on the grass
Singing in the rain

The endless laughter
No mind games
I miss those glorious days

For that I thank the flower
Of reminding me that there is so much goodness around
All that is required is a free mind and beautiful soul

Love is everywhere..
Keep loving and keep smiling..

 

Deja Vu

There are times you want to make sense of everything that has been happening.
 Of the things you have been doing.
The things that you thought would make you feel better.
The things that are actually making you feel better.
The things you have kept doing since you were a child.
The things you think of doing tomorrow when tomorrow never came.

You try to draw inspiration from all the goodness in the world.
You realize you are not that noble anymore.
You feel jealous of the accomplishments of the others.
The humility you used to feel in others success belittles you now.
You have become a mere shadow of your true self.
The little child grew up into a woman you know nothing about now.
The joys of simple life are elusive to you now.
Some chimera you have been following.
Sometime between yesterday and today your dreams became a shadow of your sorry self.

You had thought that you could do much better
That you would not stumble like other souls you had come across
You thought you are invincible.
You thought you had won the battle when the war hadn't even started yet.
You thought you could build castles
You ended up building dungeons.
Filled to the brim with prisoners and slaves of another era.

You wanted to bloom into a soft and supple flower
You wanted to own the world
You gave up your soul for what
Nothing I guess
Now the dream has been thrashed to the ground
The old paving the way for the new.

At times you feel so old
Like you have lived this era of time before
A sense of deja vu prevails
Burning you the ground
You see your imminent death looming large.
You repent as you have lost your time
You lament of the stories held close to your heart

In divine blessings you believe no more
The demons in hell await for your dark breath
Your time is up you know that now
Your counting your last moments of pain and grief
In this moment you find solitude that was long banished to you
You smile at your reflection
The coward that you have become
The once tall frame
Shriveling now from excessive burden of pain

You remember the occasional glory
The folk lore so lovingly recited by your mother
The jolly laughter in the barn
The fairy tale lovers
The candles and roses
The youth gone by..

For Anuradha

Do you believe?
That the sun will brighter tomorrow !

Do you believe?
The tensions will disappear into the misty window !

Do you believe?
A happier life awaits you !

Do you believe?
You will achieve much more !

Do you believe?
The strong winds drift apart sooner than you thought

Do you believe?
You will be healthier from your sorrows !

Do you believe?
You will lose that frown !

Do you believe?
You will find your purpose !

Do you believe?
A colorful life awaits you !

Do you believe?
You have it in you !

Do you believe?
You can paint the town red !

Do you believe?
You are born to flutter life a butterfly

Do you believe?
In the beauty of your soul !

Do you believe?
That you can do it !

I do believe in you..
For every dark night that you endure..
There comes a shiny day to life up your spirits..
And make way for a new day.. 

Clueless

Have you looked yourself at the mirror lately?

The occasional fringes and the curly bangs

Have you noticed whats been missing?

Whats running wild in your head sweety?

Did you wake with the demon today 

Or its just stark reality !!

Thoughts being bombarded from numerous directions

You chuckle trying to make sense of it all

Knock Knock !!

Are you in there somewhere

Who is talking inside your head

Did you notice your eyes just twitched

Are you housing another being?

The crooked smile comes tumbling away

From darkest vestiges of the brain

You pull yourself up from a long slumber

You have gotta go on with the motions

Clueless thoughts drifting apart

In search of some sudden speck of clarity

Home is where the heart is

Strangely clueless

Thats what you feel

You keep staring at the mirror

Look yourself straight in the eye and ponder

Do you really know who you are?

Do you know what you want?

Do you know what makes you happy?

As you look at the Clock

Its been half an hour that your reflections were on

You fight for the day ahead

And come back clueless with dismay..

That Sad Song..

Been long since the Last Fall
From the broken scattered pieces
To the last tear drop rolling down
Do you remember the name?
Of the lonesome halls
I know you have waited long enough
For the wounds to heal
To take the final shape of a crusader
What if the cracked lines never go
What if I do not need to hold on to you
To the last shreds of control
I know you are waiting for answers
The final countdown
What if it never cools off
What if you are waiting in vain
You expect to be given the same things you gave
Stretched out on a silver platter
What if all is lost if not You are
What if we are not meant me
And I am just a vagabond
Living life day to day
Meal to meal
Is it strange that you cannot read it in my eyes
Are you holding yourself back
Cause deep inside you know it all
You know its never meant to be
Us was us till eternity
I have gotta give it a shot
And move on my way
To the longings deep buried
hardened butchered and burdened
Life still goes on..

Boozy Woozy

There is romance in a bottle
Be it whisky vodka rum or breezer
Best medicine for your frayed nerves
Heartening giggles that leave you breathless

There is romance in a bottle
The world seems so fluid
Like a painter's flawless Bristles
Perfectly tuned to your inner thoughts
Who said peace was elusive?
It takes you to another level
A consciousness difficult to fathom
You drift through it like an elegant swan
You take in all the shapes n sounds n banter

In that moment
You become honest and free
Like you are possessed by a supreme being
You are but one with your thoughts
You are my desire
So gentle yet so strong

You feel like a bird
Spreading your wings far apart
Lust seems closer than love
There is romance in a bottle


- This is dedicated to my best friend kahlua

Insomniacs

Welcome it with open arms
A state so tranquil will give Hangover a run
Shallow as one might say
The encroachment of Twitter Facebook and Google play
Play along after a stressful day at work
Trudge along the hazy line of immodesty and dirty play

You try to bring some clarity to your fuzzy thoughts
All in desperate fight to come out at once
My sleepless friends and their plays
The pills go in vain as you scrimp along
The snaking recess of your head

A smack a pop a ding dont
Flashing lube dubs of distant hums
Keep you awake
The bed bugs dont bite
They just crawl along your murky silhouette

You try to think
What went wrong with sleep fairy
Is she drinking somewhere
Did she forget to visit your home today

You think about all the failures
The hateful words of the present day
Occasional smiles comes to your mind with muddled images

The clock ticks away to glory
Your still chatting away
Headphones on you gear up
For that elusive getaway

Your body is limp with exhaustion
Your heart still pounding hard
Where is the balance you wonder
In this tough city life
Constant buzzing and whirring

You remember your childhood days
The playing on green fields
The getting drenched I'm the rain
The popsicles and soft candies
The carefree banter
The crackers
The lovely days gone by

You drift into a slumber or is it just a distant dream
Not yet ready to spread its wings..

Emptiness

Sometimes you start your day with an insipid smile
You wonder why you are here
Is it fate or just bad timing
Alas ! You do not feel anything

You search and search for the meaning of life
From the work that you do to the friends that you keep
You look for some divine intervention
Someone to give you a sign that you are on the right path

You feel lost to the cause you hold so dear
You look back and pieces of your life unclear
Its not sadness that has you in its grip
Its a feeling awash without a feeling

You gather yourself up
Trying to move forward
Suddenly you find yourself
Stiff and static

You cant move an inch
Is it hallucination
Or is it just your dying inspiration
You frantically make way for one cogent thought

You fail
Yes you fail time and again
You try to move on
Holding onto your last shreds of sanity

You cry for help
To dear god or the devil
There not an ounce of courage that you can muster
Not a bushel of hope

You are on your own
In this maddening abyss
You look forward
To the promise of  one more day

You realize that you are slipping into
One of your long cherished slumber
Is it the end you ask yourself
Or is it just the beginning for good times to come..

For Anisha

This is for the Girl who said " Teri mommy khana nei khilati kya? "
From the long walks in Jodhpur Park to the endless rounds of dairy milk and thumbs up..
From the sniffling days of first break up to the celebration of that special love..
From Calls at 5 in the morning to sleeping in class..
From rounds and rounds of phuchka and chaat..to the medicines afterwards..
From telephone bills reaching five digit figure..
From watching the stars to reprimands of being an impulsive jerk..
From all the times I have bugged you Ani..You have been my greatest LOVE..
You are the brightest star in my life and will always be..
You are the one I cherish...My Bestest Friend Ever..
This is Celebrating that special day..Your Birthday..
Hope you get all the love and happiness that you so rightly deserve..


From your Loving Anu..

September 11 , 2011

You Know You Are In Love When..

You Know You are in love
When your heart skips a beat passing by his house
When all you need is His One Crooked Smile
His arms around your shoulder makes you warm
His one kiss makes you flutter
When you catch him looking at you unaware
When he stands between you and a stranger to keep you safe..

You know you are in love
When all he wants is to make you smile
Your tears crush him to the core
Your one wish becomes his sermon

You know you are in love
When you visit a store to buy your favorite drink
You end up buying his favorite treat
When you dream about him while Awake
When you talk about him all of the time to your friends..
When you he is the first thought when you wake up
And the Last thought when you doze off

You know you are in love when you pen down all your
Mushy thoughts like there is no Tomorrow !!

:)

A beautiful Rainy Day

Hurrah  ! Its a beautiful rainy day. The sky is gray with the occasional sun peeping through the ruffian clouds. Kids are splashing water on their way to school. Parents are scrambling to work with their usual vigor. A lonesome poet scribbling away to glory in his pricey Notebook. His melancholy ways attracting teenagers who are bunking college to steal that occasional kiss or two on the roads. The shop keepers in their usual slumber busy calculating, weighing, haggling and selling some more. The trees are awash. Its just green everywhere you turn. The lovebirds are chirping in the nearby park making way for the new found love. For the lucky few its a holiday. They take their bike go vroom  into the sunset. The tea and samosas keep the bengali babus musing about the latest political scam,celebrity gossip and mohom bagan east bengal football rivalry. 

The air suddenly feels so fresh and alive as if been waiting for this since time immemorial. Washed up emotions soaking in the days last remains. Its heartening how a spell of drizzle can light up a worn out heart. How it can light up any recess. Every time that it rains makes my heart flutter. It reminds of goodness of nature. How we should stop and smell the roses. It feels exhilarating to be alive and get drenched to the bones in the rains. Dancing in the rains reminds me of all the times we would huddle up on the benches as kids and dance our way to glory.

Its so easy to fall in love with the rains. Yes I love the rains. 

A New Day Has Come..

There are times when you just wake up and Crash Boom Bang !! You feel empty !! Devoid of any emotions,dreams,longings,will power. You stare at the ceiling feeling like you have to pass just another day. Another wretched day of unproductive work and play. You try to search for the meaning of your existence. You search google to help you with your loneliness. You call a friend and find out she feels the same.

This is the time  when you get up and take stock of your life. Why not get your hands dirty and experiment. Something bizarre, extremely annoying, something novel. Stop thinking about what people might say..What society deems right. This is the time to rise above all this and become the person who you are meant to be.

Go diving with the sharks,play the bongo,learn pole dancing,anything that catches your fancy. You can come up with new money making mantras !!

Go get a pal,a dog, a parrot.

Life is all about having some fun..extreme heavy duty fun. Earning a living is must. What we make of ourselves is upto us.

This is what happened to me today. I feel so refreshed. No crushing headache. No suffocating migraine.
Just you and your own thing. Life is incredible. All we need to do is go by the flow. Realize our own potential.

I feel so free tasting a slice of it myself. Giving wings to ideas. Creativity that is the mantra. I am in Love with Myself. This is no narcissist ranting. This is a woman's meandering down the narrow alleys of the bright sunflower fields. Like Uncle Ronald says " I am loving It "

The beast called Men

Reading  the morning newspaper has become a source of depression. It totally rips me apart to read about the plight of women in INDIA. rapes molestation sexual harrasment have become so rampant that women are now afraid to trabel alone. this is stifling the so called democracy. prejudices against women are at all time peak.

what has happened to the men in this country one wonders? how can a human be so brutal? is there no way that it can be stopped?

where are the fast track courts and where are the reforms? 

how long will we the women of this nation suffer silently. the time has come to rise up and fight back.

the word men is becoming synonymous with the word rapist. 

this needs to change.

Happiness..

Have you ever been so happy that it wraps around your heart like a protective shield from all the adversities,anxieties and arrogance of the world around you.

Have you felt so charged up after a morning walk that you glow like a flower.
Go out jump,skip and hop. This is it. Life is short. You will not live forever.
Live as well there is no tomorrow. You could break into a dance or sway your hips in Hula hoops.
You could make that one trip to a new place. You could make someone smile just saying hi.

Life as we see it is a precious gift from the unknown. Acknowledge it.

Yes I am happy. An ice cream makes me happy. So does walking barefoot on the grass. Mindless jokes make me happy so does reading Lean In. Happiness comes in various shapes and forms.

From my best friend's banter to my lovely mother.
Happiness is the ultimate truth of our being.
Happiness is not sans sadness.
Happiness is conquering sadness.

To behold the unfulfilled and unsatisfied.
Happiness nectar is running down my veins.

Yes I am Alive..

Patience..

They say patience is a Virtue..
I say It is a Vice..

How many moments have passed when you thought that
That pretty boy will make everything better..

Stop and take action..
You have it all in You to Face it all..

To be the Harbinger of good times..
To be glorious and proud..
To accomplish all..

Stop it once and for all..

You are here and now..
You have gotta conquer it all..

Life is short..
You have no time to be patient..

This is your time..
Your Salvation..

Go Girl..
Win it All..

Dreams..

Dream On..
When you wake up..

Murderous Frustrations creeps up on your subconscious..
Still you gotta dream on..

The Falling Rupee..
The depressing wars..
Through the endless "No" s and cold calls..

You have gotta make it Work..
Against all odds..

You are here and Now..
Your time is the Maker of endless Hopes & Aspirations..
When the going gets tough and rupee falls..
You still gotta hold on ..

Dreams Live On..
You gotta carry on..

Storms will pass..
So will giants and nightmares..
You have gotta carry on..

Bearer of the lightning rod..

Dream On.